The Week of Lasts

The Final Countdown

Dave was here to visit yesterday! His weekly visits always include: the laundry swap (mmm...clean clothes that don't smell like hospital), outside food (we used UberEats yesterday to order turkey clubs right to my room), a walk outside (I stepped off of the hospital property for the first time in 29 days yesterday - we didn't go far, he wanted to show me that Swiss Chalet was basically 15 steps off of hospital property. So close, yet oh so far) and quality time spent wandering downstairs. Yesterday's wander was pretty successful. We bought a cute onesie in Indigo that I hadn't noticed until yesterday.

Baby A's souvenir of the time she made her Mom sit in the hospital for weeks on end.

Dave reminded me yesterday that this was his last week of work before A makes her arrival. It made me realize that my time in here is about to be over. Today marks the 30th day of hospital living. After being in here 30 days you get to know the rhythm of the day. I know it so well know it's hard to believe it ever felt foreign to me. Here are some lasts I am looking forward to celebrating this week:

1. Today is the last day I will be choosing my food for Monday. Next Monday being surgery day means no food after a certain time next Sunday (note to self: must ask nurse how long I can push the eating thing since they will have me on the liquid diet once I am cleared for liquids). Here is my last Monday order:

2. The last week of the medical practitioner parade. Let me tell you, I will not miss the constant interruptions asking me about my bleeding and bowel movements, especially when I just want to nap.
3. The last non-stress test in my room (I don't know why they call them non-stressful - A hates them, she gets all kicky and I get short of breath. It's almost like she is saying "Let me OUT!")
4. My last chat with my favourite cleaning lady. She's only in during the week, so I will have my last pregnant chat with her on Friday.
5. My last new magazine day is on Friday. I love Friday's. I wait until afternoon to go down so I can be sure the new magazines are out at the Indigo store and look at every cover. I usually end up just buying US Weekly, but do enjoy the front covers letting me know who is getting divorced (usually lies), who is pregnant (mostly lies), who has been cheating on so-and-so with whom (the jury is out on some of these). So much entertainment in my Friday's.
6. The last week of watching as much Netflix and TV as I can expose my brain too. Apparently there won't be time once I return to the outside world.
7. My last shower with my Michael Jackson glove (when I shower I have to tape a medical glove around my hand to protect my IV and feel like the hospital version of Michael Jackson. Yes, I have threatened my nurse that I will moonwalk past the nurses station with my cool gloved hand. I haven't done it yet, so I guess I should do it this week).
8. The last time I will eat cookies in bed. Who am I kidding? I do that when I am at home too. Cookies are the best, but even better when you eat them in bed.
9. My last cinnamon scone Sunday. I thought about that as I slowly savored my cinnamon scone this morning. Note to Dave: must buy cinnamon scones for my return home. Sunday is now cinnamon scone day.
10. My last night wandering down the long hall in the unit. This hall and I have gotten to know each other well. I usually do about 5-8 laps, 3-5 times per day depending on how bored I am and if there is anything interesting going on (gossip at the nurses station, new patient moving in).

11. My last wacky Wednesday, which will likely be uneventful and turn into me avoiding (a.k.a. napping, wandering downstairs or watching a movie) Art with Hal. One afternoon with Hal was enough. I think I will leave my painting here too. It's posted beautifully across from the nurses station...upside down. I guess my art left room for interpretation. 

My lovely nurse this morning did tell me that I will be back on this unit for post-patrum care, so that makes me very excited, for real. I will get to do a couple of first things on this unit I've called home since August 26th, like first time getting out of bed after abdominal surgery, first night with baby A, first diaper change with baby A. Plus, I get to see and thank all the nurses that have taken such amazing care of me over the past 30 days and beyond. 

I am looking forward to this week of last's, especially when I think baby A is staying until her actual C-section date note. 

Finally 35 weeks! 28 days down, 10 to go!

I spent the afternoon watching Tangled. I live firmly in the Tangled is better than Frozen camp. Sorry Princess Elsa fans, I enjoy Rapunzel, her magic hair and her floating lanterns. Despite how excited I am about becoming a mother, there is a lot of nervousness. I really didn't think pregnancy would be possible for us. In January, my fibroid (Tom) degenerated (basically got way to big for it's blood supply) and I was hospitalized for 5 days with severe pain. Based on it's location and a few other things, my OB was concerned that we would have issues conceiving. When I followed-up with my OB in early February, we were discussing the possibility of looking into IVF if we weren't pregnant by November. You can imagine how surprised my OB was when I called in late February to let her know we had gotten a positive pregnancy test. We've been high risk since the beginning which always causes an increase in stress in pregnancy, I held my breath the first few ultrasounds hoping that this little one was viable and had a heart beat. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine though that being high risk would land me resident status in Mount Sinai. As you can imagine, I have had a lot of time to sit around and think in here. One big question is what if being a parent is not everything I dreamed of and imagined, but then again, what if it is? What if it's better? I am so excited to meet her and get to know her. The next 9 days are going to be torture, like Christmas Eve x 100.

The past few days have been uneventful to say the least. I've wandered the halls more than I usually do because you can only sit so long watching Netflix and reading. I will regret that statement in a few months when I will yearn to have time to sit and do nothing, but these days are getting harder to make it through. There are a lot more permanent but temporary residents here now, a lot due in December. It makes me thankful I only have a few more days and we could potentially be home for Thanksgiving!

Wasting the Day Away in Baby Jail

Day 25 of baby jail was the first time I did not want to eat the food here. Every meal that came by looked extra disgusting today and by dinner the thoughts of eating the sad looking Hungry-man-like turkey dinner did not appeal to me. I broke out of the unit (legally! I signed out and everything) and went to the pizza place in the cafeteria for a slice of Kosher cheese pizza. A couple of weekends ago the owner of the pizza place chatted with me at length about the cheese he uses. It came all the way from Israel by way of Chicago and Montreal before making it to his kitchen. I must say it's pretty decent pizza, especially when compared to the dinner option that I ditched on the tray before leaving the unit.  I also grabbed a Kit-Kat on my way back up to the unit. My nurse and the nursing student that was with her today were at the desk when I came in discreetly hiding my chocolate bar and busted me for sneaking chocolate in. The nurses always seem to catch you when you have candy or chocolate. For the record, I am allowed candy and chocolate. I passed that horrible 2 hour glucose tolerance test after failing the 1 hour test by 1 point.

Here is a visual sampling of the food that we are served for lunch and dinner. Usually I don't mind it, but today, I'm done with this food.

I have downloaded UberEats in the hopes of being able to survive the next 12 days. Otherwise, I will be living on buns, gingerale, crackers and the cookies I sneak down to Second Cup to get. 

The Baby Jail Sentence

The day that you are officially told you are stuck here until the end is quite possibly the worst day ever of your pregnancy. Before the official word is given, there is always hope that you might still go home and live out the rest of your pregnancy at home on bed-rest eating bonbons and watching a lot of crappy daytime TV. I remember the moment the OB came in and told me that I was in until the end. I put on my brave face while chatting with her and the charge nurse, waited until they left and then burst into tears. The tears lasted off and on a couple of days. It might be different for everyone, but by day 3 I had come to accept that I was stuck here until at least 32 weeks where there was hope that I would be able to go to the hospital closer to home. That hope was dashed on September 8th when my platelets dropped and my OB didn't feel safe sending me to a hospital that didn't know what they were in for. There were some tears that day too, but by then I knew that we were both safer here. Plus, I know the lay of the land on this antenatal unit and the schedule of the day. It would be a lot of effort to learn the rules and schedule of a new unit in a different hospital.

Today was sentencing day for my roommate. Every pregnant woman on this unit has a different reason for being here. Some of them are here for observation for 24-48 hours and sent back into the world to live their last pregnancy weeks away in the sunshine, most of us are in here until the end. My roommate was hoping that she would be one that would be released into the sunshine. Despite the news not being for me, it was heartbreaking to hear that she wouldn't be going home and would be here until the end. All the feelings from my sentencing day came back. She will likely be here until sometime in mid-November if her little girl doesn't come before then and has two little boys are home. She's taking it really hard. I tried my best to re-assure her that it would be OK and in a year it will all be such a distance memory, but I know from my experience no words help during those first few days of processing that you will live here until a baby is in your arms.

In addition to my roommate getting her sentencing, my old roommate ended up back in baby jail until the end on Sunday night. It was nice to see a face I knew, despite the horrible situations that brought us both here. It looks like our girls will be coming within 2 weeks of each other, which is exciting!


Ultrasound Tuesday

There was some good in the day! It's Tuesday! I look forward to Tuesday every week. Tuesday is my ultrasound day. Everyone on the unit has a day that they are pulled into the tiny room near the Nurse's station for 20-30 minutes to have their weekly ultrasound. It's a nice break from having medical practitioners in your "space" and you get to watch the entire ultrasound on a big screen TV while the technician completes the scan. They even let you take pictures of anything you want while you are in there. Today, a fellow (Definition: a fellowship is a period of medical training that a physician or dentist may undertake after completing their residency. During this time, the physician is known as a fellow) was in the room to watch my scan (I assume she was watching all the scans this morning) and asked if I wouldn't mind staying a couple more minutes (turned into 15 minutes) so she could practice some of her skills. I have learned here that if I can waste 15 minutes AND help someone hone their skills AND see Baby A for a couple more minutes I am not saying no.

Baby A weighed in at a hefty 6 lbs 1oz. The debate online is that the weight measurements from ultrasounds at this gestational age can be wildly inaccurate, by up to 1.5lbs. My ultrasound nurse measured 3 times to ensure it was correct since the previous ultrasound with weight measurements (September 2nd) had her weighing in at 4lbs 8oz. That means little A has gained over 1 1/2 lbs. She also has a beautiful little profile and adorable chin and lips straight on. Below on the left is Baby A's profile plus 3 of her fingers (she does have all 5, but she was holding her hand in a fist). To the right is Tom the massive fibroid. He's that mass of grey material to the right of the screen.

So now I sit on Tuesday evening waiting to see if Wacky Wednesday has anything in store for us. Perhaps a trip to the other side is in my future or it will be another day hanging out in baby jail.

Bonus Picture

Me, with sweet hospital hair, from Saturday hanging out with my IV pole. Saline to celebrate 34 weeks!!

A Case of the Mondays

Life in the hospital is still going as well as life in the hospital can. Working on Day 24 here and so far no day has been the same. Today I really just wanted to go back to sleep, but the Monday medical practitioner parade starts at 9 (or for me this morning a little earlier) and goes until dinner time.

The Date Debate

Over the weekend, the debate about whether my c-section date was October 3rd and 4th continued. The Charge Nurse (who Saturday night recommended that I curb my boredom by riding my IV pole down the hall. She was only kidding...I think) called over to L&D yesterday and was able to stop the debate once and for all. Her scheduled birthday is October 3rd. She gets to share a birthday with my Dad, Mean Girls Day and the 7 week anniversary of Mom's passing. 13 days (or less) until we get to meet this little one and Dave and I are super excited. The "or less" is because I really don't think she's going to stay in there until October 3rd.

The Nursery

Speaking of Dave, he worked on the baby's room last night, which is good because from what he had told me there was so much in there he could hardly open the door. We are so fortunate to have so much love and support for this little one. Dave was happy that he had a day off, between driving down here to see me, working, taking care of the dogs and keeping the household chores up, he's pretty exhausted.

Here are the results of all his hard work last night. I can't wait to see it in person.

The Monday

This morning started off with a small PRI. I got to go on the monitors at 6:15am to check to make sure baby A was OK. She's more than OK, just rocking out oblivious to the fact that her attachment to my uterus was not happy. I was very annoyed this morning to see the results of the PRI. Today would have been 12 days since my last one. I knew the streak would be over soon, but I was hoping it would hold out a day of two.

I had a quick reprieve from the monitor once everyone seemed content with her activity and drifted back off to sleep. I was back on the monitors by 9:30am for the routine NST. Again, baby A is totally oblivious to the fact that her placenta is not happy. What's become routine is the CBC (complete blood count) done after every PRI, whether it's small or big. My nurse for today just came in to let me know my platelets are low...again. Just awaiting the OB to come in and let me know what the plan is. I was warned last time that if they drop again they are starting interventions. Just waiting to hear whether I get option A - just a little pill to take or option B - a fun transfusion of platelets. Will keep you posted. 

The thing I find the hardest about PRI day is that I don't get to go downstairs until the activity stops. That means no coffee or smelling outside for me today. I am hoping I can convince my nurse that it would be good for my mental health to go downstairs for 5 minutes.

I am now off to online browse for baby Halloween costumes. Her due date was originally October 28th, which meant I would not be recovered enough from having my abdomen cut open to show her off in a fun costume. With her date now being moved to October 3rd and the potential for a short NICU/hospital stay, she might be out and able to rock her first Halloween costume. 

Tips for Surviving Bed Rest

When I was first admitted I did a lot of Googling despite the medical professionals saying not to Google. I will be honest every week when the app tells me I have hit the next week of pregnancy, I obsessively check survival rates of babies born a "x" weeks, supplementary care they will need and approximately how long they will live in the NICU. At 34 weeks, Google in all it's profound wisdom tells me at 34 weeks Baby A will potentially need supplementary oxygen (we had steroids on August 17th and 18th to help with lung development) and an NG tube for feeding. The ballpark on when we could take her home would be 3 days to 3+ weeks. Survival rate is 99%.

In addition to my weekly trip to Google about survival rates, I also Google tips on how to pass time on bed rest. Some of these tips are helpful, most are not. The biggest tip that all have in common is make a schedule. In my first post, I shared my schedule, but I will admit today I followed no schedule. It was a lazy Saturday and Dave came to visit, so no schedule was required.

Here are some tips from Parents.com (http://www.parents.com/pregnancy/my-life/bed-rest/activity-checklist/) on how to survive best rest and my thoughts on these suggestions.

1. Catch up on your reading
Very good tip, especially if you enjoy to read and have had a list of books in your head for a while and no time to read. So far I have read 2 books - "The Girl on the Train" and "Me Before You". I am half-way through "The Light Between Oceans". So many friends have dropped books off that I will definitely have enough to keep me occupied for the next 16 days.

2. Play board or card games
Tricky to do in the hospital, unless you have found a little squad of other pregnant women. It's hard here to maintain that squad. There are some women that are in and out within 48 hours and the rest of us are usually confined to our beds/rooms or in and out of appointments/medical visits or trying to escape our rooms when visitors come. It makes it hard to get to know the other long-term residents here. After a while you do get to know who has been here roughly the same time as you and, if you are strange like me, you have given them nicknames. Dave gets to be subjected to my nicknames for the other long-term women and me being concerned when they disappear for a little while (like the woman that disappeared all weekend who is pregnant with twins. I found out from her husband she was out on a weekend pass when I finally saw them on Monday). I wonder if they have given me a nickname?

3. Watch Movies
Yes! I have watched a few movies, but with a plethora of interruptions from the medical professionals (who I adore because they are doing such a wonderful job here on this unit and don't mind having stop in for a chat about my status) and randomly falling asleep it's hard to watch a full movie at any one time. I much prefer to stream a television show, usually as trashy reality TV show (Bachelor in Paradise, Big Brother, Amazing Race Canada, etc.) or Gilmore Girls on Netflix.

4. Get a Manicure.
I am not one for manicures, but I desperately need a pedicure, but my 34 week pregnant belly is proving to cause difficulties in me reaching my toes.

5. Channel Your Inner Poet
Not quite my cup of tea. I will pass on being a poet.

6. Journal or Blog
For the first two and a bit weeks, my brain was buzzing. They give all women admitted to the antenatal unit a notebook to write in. My notebook has turned into a massive list of things to do when I get out for my Mom's estate and things I need to do to sort of my own life when I return to it, so not really ideal to write all my thoughts it. The idea to start a blog came to me after my brain became too full and I needed to organize my thoughts. Now all of you get to read the inner thoughts of my hospital bed rest brain.

7. Create
I guess Art with Hal would count? I have never been the creative type. For a while when my wrist/hands were free from IV's (my forearm becomes the site for my IV when my hands become free) I was able to work on my Girl Guide camp blanket, but had to give that up the past 10 days as my left or right hand has been home to my IV port. I also tried those adult colouring books. Those are not as relaxing or stress-relieving as they advertise. Why are the little areas you have to colour in so small? What if I pick colours that don't compliment each other? Why do these exist? Who finds these relaxing? If my windows could opened, they would be out on Murray Street right now. My friend Pam heard my rants about them that the next time she came to visit brought me children's colouring books! Colouring in Disney Princess' and Minions has been much less stressful.

8. Scrapbook
I was joking about this with my roommate yesterday. I can't imagine dragging scrap booking supplies in here. We hardly have enough space for our clothes and personal belongings. Plus you want to limit items that you have here in case you go to the other side (L&D) and your poor husband has to pack all your stuff up, even worse if the nurses have to (they work hard enough and don't have to deal with my endless "keep busy supplies"). It might turn into a packing nightmare. Plus, all this stuff eventually has to make it's way home in a car with a newborn. I would like to limit the amount of trips we are taking to the car when I finally get to walk out the door as free woman!

9. Shop Online
I do online window shopping almost daily. I got sucked into a 2 hour Etsy block hole about 7 days ago. Poor Dave got 15 different screen shots of onesies I wanted to order. I finally was able to narrow it down to one.

Without time on the outside to shop to prepare for baby, a lot of the extra items we will need (and some we don't, but I think are too cute to pass up) when we finally get to go home I have been buying and having sent to Dave. If anyone has some spare time and is really awesome at organizing, please let me know. I left our nursery in a very big mess and since our baby shower it's gotten a little bit more chaotic.

10. Pick Baby Names
Done and done. We picked out a girl and boy name before our anatomy scan at 19 weeks. As most of you know, this name is a secret until she arrives. Muhahaha! I am dreadful at keeping secrets and this one has been hard, especially when you get a nurse you haven't met (I think I have met almost all of them now) and she asks what your baby's name is. I have to admit, 2-3 nurses do know her name, but they also are sworn to secrecy to not share, especially when visitors are here.

11. Plan
The article says to plan baby's nursery decor. We were fortunate enough to have decorated her room in July, so this is all done. The organizing of her room is all that's left.

Baby A's nursery, minus the computer/desk, plus 700 other things. 

A little bit of Star Wars

12. Design
The article recommends designing your baby announcements. I might leave this one to Dave since he is much better at designing than I am. I think I need a lesson from him on how to change the layout for this blog.

13. Learn
I was determined to take up knitting when I arrived here. I have needles and wool and YouTube tutorials. It takes a long time to make something though and although I have lots of time, I lack a little something called patience. My scarf for a mouse looks really awesome though.

Most days I do a combination of reading, enjoying the black hole of the internet, watching movies/TV shows, eating/thinking about what I want to eat, wandering the hallways and chatting with my roommate. I am trying to enjoy the last two weeks of boredom and finish up little things I haven't had a chance to do, especially the thank you cards from everyone that has been so generous to Baby A.

Pregnancy: Expiration Date October 4th.

Today, like everyday, I woke up to the night nurse coming in around 6:30am to give me my medications and check my vitals. I should have known today would be a different kind of day when my blood pressure was the lowest it's been this entire pregnancy (103/65) and I had enough energy to not go back to sleep. I think my dear lovely night nurse (Melva, with 30+ years nursing experience in all things pregnancy) was happy that I didn't have a PRI. The last time she was my nurse, I had two PRI's and was sent over to L&D. Apparently a trip across the hall to the other wing means lots of paperwork for my lovely assigned nurse and I would hate to subject her to that again.

My day nurse, Anna, seems to think I am a morning person. This is her first day with me, so she doesn't know that I am usually asleep until the food services crew brings breakfast around 8:30 and randomly fall asleep throughout the day. I probably surprised the food services crew as well because instead of being in my pajamas rocking sweet bedhead I was up, showered, dressed and ready for the day. 

The usual parade of medical practitioners started with my nurse setting me up to the Fetal Non-Stress Test which usually takes about 20 minutes, sometimes longer if this baby has decided it's time for gymnastics again, All of a sudden the OB fellow pops in to chat. I was a bit surprised as usually I don't see her until closer to lunch since I am on of the more stable patient's on the unit. We talk about all my usual stuff (is the baby moving? any cramps, contractions, etc.?) and then she casually says, "we've booked you for an ultrasound on October 3rd, but double check the date with your nurse" and runs off. I am so excited! This is the first time a date has been mentioned, there is light at the end of the tunnel. I love the chosen birthday because she gets to share it with my Dad AND it's Mean Girls Day. 

For those that don't know what Mean Girls Day is, please see below and then go watch Mean Girls: 

My nurse came in to take me off of the monitor and pulled up my chart. The OB fellow was wrong. They have actually scheduled me for October 4th. I missed my Dad's birthday and Mean Girl's Day by one day. That's OK though, we have a date. I cannot tell you how much relief there is having a date. After sitting in here for 20 days not knowing when she would come, have the knowledge that she will come in 20 days, at the maximum, is amazing. Knowing that in 20 days or less I will be in the OR getting to meet this crazy active little girl, as well as getting a pretty cool scar makes me so happy. Honestly, I feel like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. There is no more wondering about when I get to leave. If all goes well, Baby A and I will be home by Thanksgiving and enjoying sharing pumpkin pie with Dave and Baby A's fur sisters Sophie and Stella (I know baby's can't eat pie, but in a round-about way she kind of gets to enjoy it). That being said, she could really come at anytime. The OB fellow gave me the impression that if all stays quiet October 4th is the absolute latest she would come. I am still taking bets since I think Baby A is going to be a September baby. 

What is Placenta Previa?

Since being admitted I have been asked by several family members and friends what placenta previa is, so I thought I would provide a little education about what it is and what it means for the rest of my pregnancy.

Placenta previa occurs when the placenta partially or totally covers the opening of the cervix. In layman’s terms, my placenta has blocked Baby A’s exit route. To complicate matters, and likely one of the reasons my placenta attached where it attached, is a massive uterine fibroid which a co-worker loving named Tom. Tom has blocked a complete view of how extensive my placenta has blocked my cervix, but the diagnosis we are working with is a complete placenta previa (CPP). 

So cool, Baby A can’t get out the natural exit route, just have a C-section, no biggie right? Right, except the placenta is well vascularized in order to provide oxygen and nutrients to Baby A as well as remove waste products from her blood. The amount of blood flowing through the placenta means that as I get closer to delivery and my cervix starts to thin out and dilate I start to randomly bleed. I have no warnings, triggers or pain with this bleeding which is fairly typical of this condition. A lot of people have told me to take it easy and stay off my feet. This is partially good advice as limiting any physical exertion or downward pressure in my abdomen will help but since my bleeding usually occurs when I am sleeping my physical exertion has very little to do with it.

The OB’s are a little puzzled as to why my placenta attached here as it is usually associated with:

-         - scars in the lining of the uterus (usually from previous surgeries)

-         -  a large placenta (typical with a multiple pregnancy)

-         -  being 35+

-    - having previous pregnancies
      
     I don’t check off any of these boxes so I assume this useful but evil little placenta decided this was the only place to attach due to my massive uterine fibroid.

In addition to this random painless bleeding, I also have a higher risk for bleeding during delivery and the first few hours after delivery. There is also the risk of pre-term birth. This risk of bleeding plus pre-term birth is why I have been confined to the antenatal unit. My OB team is concerned that if I am too far away from a large hospital there is a great potential for a massive life-threatening hemorrhage and losing our little girl. There rule is 3 bleeds and you’re in until delivery. Since I am at 6 or 7, there is no chance in going home until Baby A is born. I am very thankful to be in such a wonderful facility with some of the best OB’s in Canada and know myself and Baby A are in the best hands possible. 

I still hope to at least see the placenta post-surgically so I can lay eyes on the cause of this painless, annoying bleeding, and maybe show it what I think of it.